That’s another song that was just going to be, “Intro,” until I stepped in. They both never got past that first label and associated me with all of those issues, while never recognizing the positive that came from all of that. I live alone. I tweeted something about doing whatever you want managers, talking about another artist, but he hit me like, “Are you talking shit about me on twitter?” I wasn’t, but I saw what he thought of himself, if he thought I was talking about him with that statement. On the trip for the Brooklyn Girls video, I slept on the couch in his studio. I’m already pissed. I lift him up, give him water, and give him the Henn. As far as I know, he’s the only one who took it that way.

The trip is already a success. That’s not getting right. LRG then made the mixtape back cover with a childhood photo that I had been trying to use for quite some time. I’ve talked shit online. He grew up a few houses down from Helmsley and we dj’d high school parties at his house. I need to get a real job, and get settled. It always has.

Working on his music at that time saved me because I had nothing else. That person you know was supposed to leave me a check in his mailbox before he left for his flight, but he didn’t. That’s how we found out. Our strategy was always to get on other people’s songs and murder them. I wasn’t just going to leave him.

I’m well versed in his thoughts on the matter, and I never once thought he actually did anything. I’m thinking that I’m not good enough on a daily basis.

I was floating in the air as I was walking. He and that other guy’s sister would talk, as she’s a writer too, but that’s the extent of his involvement. They also didn’t check in with me when ordering and ordered way more than I would have.

We shot the photos at the park in Sodi’s hood and asked Jank to make magic happen. One of my favorite E-Swift verses is also on that song, and I love the breakdown in there.

Thankfully none came down my cheeks, but my eyes are watery. When he would ask me about other artists, I’d say they’re good, but that person you know is better.

I thought about death a whole lot while I was managing him. His mood got worse and worse and he eventually hung up. Our rep gave me the best advice when she told me, “Labels would rather overpay for a home run slugger, then make a wise investment on a career doubles hitter, RBI master. I sequenced it, and figured out the bonus tracks. After putting my resume together and seeing all of the things I had done, I thought I was for sure getting a job.

For the tapes, that artist put all of the music together, and I handled the artwork. I’d put earphones on, turn up Portishead to drown them out, and go to sleep eventually. Going out is great.

This video wouldn’t have happened without that budget I had our publisher set aside though. We dropped midwestgangstaboxframecadillacmuzik with Smoking Section and things are moving. What was a few pebbles becomes a force of nature. It was fun to work and talk with him for that little bit. That’s why it’s a bonus track. Our producer had a studio in his basement that he recorded out of. “How do you see this happening?” is what I asked him. I’m so vulnerable and not who I want to be. I think he also gave me an extra 3k, just as another cushion. We went on multiple vacations together, had many drunk nights hanging out, and the year before, my Christmas bonus was him paying for a week of my hotel in Mexico, so that I could spend New Year’s with my girl.

I take people on a ride.

I told him about the pain I was in.

He took me off the SxSW trip as punishment for messing up on the Raekwon tour.

Most of the riders were even impressed because the car was so new.

The pain I went through is gone and I didn’t write this as a cry for help.

Time. My mom helped out a lot financially at first, but that had to stop after a bit. I found out something rather strange when we got the first accounting report for Piñata. So I met this kid through a dating app, and we ended up talking for a while. I set that up as well. Jackie Chain also added himself, which was amazing. That other guy didn’t look at copy, he didn’t approve anything, he didn’t do any touch-ups, nothing.

It was so much fun when you could do whatever on there for free, before they locked everything down. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I saved his career, and possibly his life, four days later.
He was a great, unique person.

My rep at Rockstar is the first person I notified and I didn’t do that until almost a month after it happened. We knew their offer wouldn’t be enough to finance a full length, so that’s when we shifted to an EP.

This promoter reached out about being the main support and the numbers sounded really good.

The whole time I was managing him, I primarily only had one meal a day, and a lot of the time it would just be a couple salami sandwiches, or a couple pb&j sandwiches. All of the producers liked the music that was made, so it wasn’t too difficult.

The only problem was that Helmsley didn’t believe in him as his flagship artist. I hit the tile so hard it cracked, and my hand was bloody.

hip hop..have you heard of Rationale? I’m not an outgoing or rowdy person, but performing with him was easily the bright spot for all of those years. We’re also getting more paid features, better shows guarantees and more mainstream love. I’m still holding on to a little bit of hope. He avoided me for a few days, while my account is dwindling and I’m trying to get commission for money that’s already in his bank account. Stat also dj’d for us at shows a couple times.

It can be a really trickling level of anxiety you constantly live with, or paranoia, or panic attacks.”. He didn’t get into specifics, but it didn’t match what that other guy told me. The author in no way represents any company, corporation, or brand, mentioned herein. I saw what it takes when I used to work with DY, years prior. Forget the fact that you need to send passports early, and set things up with customs, or the fact that it’s only happening because of me, he’s thinking about taking me off it. I also have the excess merch from the tour to deal with.

Everybody else seemed to realize that I was saying that he was unknown in ‘09, when placed next to Jay-Z and Raekwon in a New York magazine, but he didn’t. You got a problem with my bitch?” I knew right then that the other guy had been stabbing me in the back, but I don’t allow myself to process it. As it got closer and closer to the end of the month, if I hadn’t made enough money, which was usually the case, I’d start freaking out more and more. I wanted to give myself a little vacation for the first time in years to collect myself. He always paid for my meals, and anything I needed while I was with him, so that helped a lot, but it also handicaps you over time. That was one of the first songs he recorded when he first came out to L.A., way back when. My thought process with shows was to go after the college market. They adjusted their offer to make it work around our new schedule and got rid of some of the shows. I didn’t intrude and wasn’t overbearing. He just wanted the title and I didn’t care.

Helmsley would always tell me, “Don’t worry, his manager got him. I don’t agree with it. They passed.

Coincidentally, Snow was the artist we first envisioned on there, but now we needed to find somebody for real. He and that guy you know made those two songs together, but they didn’t really get along.

Smoking Section was supporting, along with a couple other blogs, but there’s a long way to go. I gave up all of my contacts to them. We don’t keep in touch, and I never told him this before. Helmsley had felt bad that things hadn’t blown up like we had hoped. The way I used to eat is absolutely atrocious. I told that other guy about the meeting right away and hid nothing. A lot of shared traits and viewpoints. There were a couple back to back, with one of them being a rather nice blurb in Rolling Stone that they really liked. I’m like, chiiiiiill. When the Corporate deal was going bad, I asked him straight up about what he told me, but he just looked at me with a blank face. I ended up having a couple incidents on both and my driving privileges were removed.

Redirecting energy.

It was 1am. I never did anything really bad. Helmsley emailed me about it afterwards trying to talk, but I never responded. That’s something we talked about a lot. I tried reaching out to Goon after I was fired, but he’d never respond. I told him how I’d scratch the back of my head and clumps of hair would fall out. That.

We won’t be good managers if we’re telling our artist two different things, or if we don’t know the same information. I trusted both of them completely. The blogs took a second to go, but once it went, we golden. He does a lot, and he’s quick with it.

Plus, I wanted to meet him solo, in case he ends up being a flunkie. He didn’t like P asking him to get a haircut and dress better. Hennessy fueled so many sessions back in the day. Midwest Malcolm, Murda On My Mind, County Bounce, Playa, Still Standing and Iodine Poison. If there was any issue with anything, I’m the one to tell him. So please, please keep being his fan and listen to their stories, but also know the truth. But Helmsley was always aware of these things. It was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had, but that’s how close we were at the time. I later apologized to that person, but I don’t know if it resonated. They’re going to keep them for a little bit, but would be able to leave soon.

French did things for us that no agency could do, with the thought that we’re going to take care of him.
Plus, I knew that if I had the merch, I was guaranteed to get the commissions he promised me, one way or another.

We visited their offices when we were in NY to put in some face time, and the plan from day one was to have it premiere on Jams.

For me, sequencing is easy.

I’m running the point, missing half a leg and three fingers, but still putting up triple doubles.

I’ve been thinking that I might be fired for so long that a part of me felt relief.

That person you know would go out to eat, and I’d be eating turkey and cheese sandwiches backstage. SxSW shows, especially the ones that paid, me.

The person who told me about this, also told me that this is why he stopped paying me. I’d be happy for an hour or two, and then reality would set back in. He also told me that he appreciated how I was in the studio.

Absolutely everything I wore was given to me by sponsors, or our own merchandise. I never had hard feelings about it because I knew I messed up by not taking their offer in the first place, but it still hurt like hell.

It was my responsibility to do better. I asked for his help on artwork at times, help getting single leak artwork made, but nothing.

They would start a revenue stream for the homies that had supported us and make ESGN look bigger with a crew. I remember looking back over my right shoulder and up at the balcony in the club, above a twisted flight of stairs. After seeing how the Midwest mini-tour went, I had a better idea of how to do things on the road. Putting their name in the thank you’s of a project that wouldn’t exist without them is the least that I could do. It’s crazy to me how highly I thought of him, next to how negatively he thought of me, when I never did anything adverse to him. Some of my fondest memories happened in Austin. We closed this year on an incredibly high note with an Adidas in-store for lots of money, and a Rockstar GTA performance for even more. They had him in a safe location and are flying back that night. Not to mention the entire landscape has changed.

I tried, but I broke down before a word came out. It’s one of the things that helped me begin to realize that I could use to open up more and relax. Holy shit. Bodyguard star Richard Madden said playing the role of a war veteran with post traumatic stress disorder in the hit BBC series took a toll on him. There’s no excuse.

.

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